Remember
by Clg1978
Summary: Just a small dabble that came to mind when I was listening to Taylor Swift - Back to December. I own nothing, not the characters or the song I used.


AN - This is a song fic. I was listening to Taylor Swift - Back to December and this popped into my head. I think this is how a song fic goes. So the song lyrics are in italics and underlined and the story is in regular font. I do not own any character from Gilmore girls or do I own the song I used all that belongs to the original creators and writers. It is a little dark but it is what came out. thanks for reading

Rory was waiting in a small cafe close to her work. Logan had run into her while he was in DC for business and offered to talk over coffee. It had been 3 long years since she had seen him last. She spotted him walking in and stood up to greet him. He looked nervous.

_I'm so glad you made time to see me._  
_How's life? Tell me how's your family?_  
_I haven't seen them in a while._  
_You've been good, busier than ever,_

She had seen the articles and reports of his business in Palo Alto doing very well for itself.

_We small talk, work and the weather,_  
_Your guard is up and I know why._  
_Because the last time you saw me_  
_Is still burned in the back of your mind._  
_You gave me roses and I left them there to die._

He asks me if there is anyone special and I shake my head telling him there is no time. He looks at me through guarded eyes, gauging my words, tone and movements. I asked him if there is anyone as well and he said yes, it wasn't serious yet but there was someone. He said she is not you, they never are.

_So this is me swallowing my pride,_  
_Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night,"_  
_And I go back to December all the time._  
_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you._  
_Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine._  
_I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right._  
_I go back to December all the time._

I lay it all there; that I miss him and I still love him. I can tell he doesn't want to hear that. I can tell he is still hurt. I tell him that the wide open future I thought I wanted this whole time was not worth it.

_These days I haven't been sleeping,_  
_Staying up, playing back myself leavin'._  
_When your birthday passed and I didn't call._  
_And I think about summer, all the beautiful times,_  
_I watched you laughing from the passenger side._  
_Realized I loved you in the fall._

After 3 long years I wished things were different but know things will never be the same. Our goodbyes broke our hearts.

_And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind_  
_You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye"._

I tell him if given another chance I wouldn't throw it away.

_So this is me swallowing my pride_  
_Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."_  
_And I go back to December all the time._  
_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,_  
_Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine._  
_I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind_  
_I go back to December all the time._

I try to remind him of the good times.

_I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile,_  
_So good to me, so right_  
_And how you held me in your arms that September night_  
_The first time you ever saw me cry._

It's hard to sit here and not touch him.

_Maybe this is wishful thinking,_  
_Probably mindless dreaming,_  
_But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right._

Knowing what I know and how I feel if I could turn back time I say yes in a heartbeat but my brain and fear outweighed my heart at the time and I would never let that happen again.

_I'd go back in time and change it but I can't._  
_So if the chain is on your door I understand._

He gets up to leave not able to do this anymore. Telling me it's too late, too much has happened and that he will always love me but it's too little to late and that maybe we can be friends in the future. He gets up and hesitates. I can see him wanting to hug me, wipe my tears away but he turns and leaves. I wait a beat but run after him not wanting to make same mistake of letting him leave.

_But this is me swallowing my pride_  
_Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."_  
_And I go back to December..._  
_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,_  
_Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine._  
_I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right._  
_I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind_

But he is gone when I walk out. I know that it is over and we would never be friends. 5 years later I end up being and overseas correspondent. Being over there I've had a few close calls but always manage to come back hoping against hope the he would come back or he be waiting at the airport for me. Another 5 years after that he headlines read he has taken over HPG and it shows a picture of him, his wife, and children. I will never marry or love again and I think if I don't come back this time, from this assignment its OK because then I wouldn't have to remember all those years ago.

_I go back to December all the time._  
_All the time._


End file.
